{"id":6497,"date":"2020-07-24T18:28:41","date_gmt":"2020-07-24T21:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/site.claricelispector.ims.com.br\/acervo\/067389-2\/"},"modified":"2020-12-02T15:16:33","modified_gmt":"2020-12-02T18:16:33","slug":"067389-2","status":"publish","type":"acervo","link":"https:\/\/site.claricelispector.ims.com.br\/en\/archive\/letters\/067389-2\/","title":{"rendered":"067389"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Bern, August 14, 1946<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tania, my love,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I received your letter postmarked August 6th<\/sup> on the 12th<\/sup>\u2026 I was convincing myself that I wouldn\u2019t receive it so soon, and then comes the big present:  Oh, darling, how I\u2019m tired of missing everyone and of thinking. I\u2019m so tired of it and trying through thought to escape the life I live that I have no desire or strength to work. The other day I opened a book I bought, the celebrated The Imitation of Christ<\/em> (Published in the 15th<\/sup> century, by an unknown author. There are those who attribute its authorship to the German priest Thomas \u00e0 Kempis. Considered the most read work in the Christian world after the Bible. Clarice made a few comments about reading this work with Fernando Sabino (Cartas perto do cora\u00e7\u00e3o<\/em> [Letters Near to the Heart]). \u201cI\u2019ve been reading a lot the Imitation of Christ<\/em> which has been purifying me at times.\u201d (p. 21)) \u201cAs for the Imitation of Christ<\/em>, it tells us to suffer until we bleed, and completely surrender. To suffer until we bleed, I\u2019ll get there and actually sometimes I\u2019ve already gotten there. But to abandon myself, I don\u2019t know how, I lack grace. As \u00c1lvaro Lins says, I\u2019m often called and never chosen\u2026\u201d (p. 45)), and it was written: you have not suffered yet until you bleed. I think that when this happens, it\u2019ll be time to act, to decide. Meanwhile I can still contemporize. The letter I\u2019m answering is the one in which you send Marcia\u2019s note\u2026 What a sweet note, first rate! She\u2019s the most adorable smaller adult that I know. And you\u2019re the most adorable bigger child. I was shocked by the four expired sweepstake tickets. It would be better than you imagine, you coming here\u2026 I finally received your letters, I think all of them, with pictures, clippings. I really wanted to give you some good news. Our living room is very nice. Your portrait is there, looking at me. Whenever I\u2019m most upset, you smile at me. I often don\u2019t know what you want to say, but I\u2019m always guessing. Marcia\u2019s portrait is on the wall. And also, in a double frame, Elisa, with a wallet-sized picture, and Marcia in two small proofs for the large portrait. There\u2019s my portrait by De Chirico (Giorgio de Chirico, [1888-1978]. He is part of the Metaphysical Painting movement, which anticipated elements that later appeared in Surrealist painting.  In the beginning of the 1920s, his work obtained considerable success in vanguard circles, and in 1925, he participated in the first Surrealist exhibition. Among his most well-known works are Portrait of Guillaume Apollinaire<\/em>, Hector and Andromache<\/em>, and the Disquieting Muses<\/em>.) and all the little things we have. Yesterday I went to buy flowers for decoration, and I found a wonderful place: it\u2019s a huge garden, with a little dark hallway that leads to it. You get there, enter a little house with a glass roof and say: I want to buy flowers. Then the girl with an apron and long cotton socks grabs some shears and takes us outside to the huge garden and says: which ones? We choose: those yellow ones. So she cuts a dozen yellow flowers right from the plant, wraps them in paper, and gives them to us. Isn\u2019t that nice? Do you want to send me a picture with the Havana dress? You chose the buttons yourself, and it\u2019s very likely that you paid for them also\u2026 In those days you used to pay for a lot of things for me\u2026 Now I can\u2019t write a single letter without Rosa showing up to talk. My friendship with her is already becoming a bore\u2026 She\u2019s always got a story to tell, and as many opinions as possible. She ends many stories like this: oh, men, you know\u2026 I pretend I know, and maybe I really do. \u2013 Yesterday Maury received a letter from a friend; he said that \u201cas we must know,\u201d the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was distributing the Chandelier<\/em>\u2026; that meanwhile he had only received the notice announcing it but not the book. This left us morbidly angry and ashamed. You can\u2019t imagine how ridiculous this is, how they\u2019ll laugh at me. You can\u2019t imagine these things because you\u2019re far from the environment. Everybody gathers to talk bad about people. I don\u2019t know if the news is true, and I don\u2019t know whose idea it was. I believe that the publisher Agir, seeing that the book is not selling, remembered to sell copies to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs\u2026 If that\u2019s true, I don\u2019t want anything to do with Agir, I\u2019m tired of their coups that harm and hurt me. I know well that everyone will imagine that I was the one who arranged this with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, because I was in Rio. This all upsets me more than I can explain. Maury is furious, feeling ridiculous. \u2013 My dear, so you\u2019re still friends with me. Your letter made me feel so good. Oh, my dear, I think I no longer have the words to tell you how I\u2019m connected to you, not just because of the buttons\u2026                       <\/p>\n\n\n\n

– I sent a very short story to Buono, to the \u201cHouse.\u201d It\u2019s called \u201cThe Crime\u201d (Later published under the title \u201cThe Crime of the Math Teacher\u201d in Family Ties<\/em> [Francisco Alves, 1960].). I didn\u2019t send it to you earlier, fearing you wouldn\u2019t like it\u2026 My book is on hold. I no longer know how to approach it. I abandoned it too many times, and now I need to relive all of it to transform it. With your remote assistance, I\u2019ll try again. \u2013 I\u2019m corresponding with Fernando Sabino, who\u2019s in New York, with Sarah Escorel (Wife of the diplomat Lauro Escorel. The couple were often with Clarice and Maury in Washington.), who\u2019s in Boston, with Maria Luiza; I received a long letter from Buono, one from that girl Diva Alves Terra, who says she met you. The people from Italy don\u2019t write me. A\u00e7ucena doesn\u2019t like to write. It was published in the Ministry\u2019s newsletter, it was published that all men in Italy were awarded a war cross for services offered to the Brazilian Expeditionary Force (FEB), including people who arrived in Italy after the war was over\u2026, and a female typist, also. Maury\u2019s name was excluded who knows why, maybe because he\u2019s in Switzerland; it\u2019s a shame. They had said that even I\u2019d be awarded one for the work at the hospital\u2026 (Rosa is now saying that there are Swiss people here so wise that they even seem Jewish\u2026) Alright.         <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other day we saw an already old film with Bette Davis; the English title is \u201cOld Acquaintance,\u201d with Miriam Hopkins (Old Acquaintance <\/em>(1943), starring Miriam Hopkins and Vincent Sherman.). If it returns to theaters, go see it. It\u2019s one of those really nice films, that you wish never ended. Sometimes good French films also appear. Tania, wouldn\u2019t it be an exaggeration for you to say that William did not enjoy the trip to the U.S.? I only know that if he needs to travel again, you should make the most of it and go also; I don\u2019t see why not. \u2013 We\u2019ve already written to order glassware, silverware, and chinaware for you. But it\u2019s also necessary to expect for everything not to work out, both your service and ours. Only when they\u2019re ready we\u2019ll know. Because if the issue of money changes, they\u2019d cost a fortune \u2013 Tania, tell Priscila that we still haven\u2019t received an answer from her relatives. That maybe she should write to them, giving our address, because I don\u2019t understand the delay, since Priscila says she receives their letters. Let\u2019s write again. Maury wrote in English and gave very clear instructions.     <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darling, write me, OK? It\u2019s so infinitely good to receive your letter quickly and frequently. Hugs, darling, and be a little fond of me.

Clarice\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":6048,"parent":6511,"menu_order":33,"template":"","categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6497","acervo","type-acervo","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n067389 - Clarice Lispector<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/site.claricelispector.ims.com.br\/acervo\/letters\/067389-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"067389 - Clarice Lispector\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bern, August 14, 1946 Tania, my love, I received your letter postmarked August 6th on the 12th\u2026 I was convincing myself that I wouldn\u2019t receive it so soon, and then comes the big present:  Oh, darling, how I\u2019m tired of missing everyone and of thinking. 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